The Last Dance

Sher Khan
2006/04/30 

I am not good at dancing. However, sometimes I do attempt to amuse myself with this complicated body act. As it happened during the last New Year’s Eve, after drinking a few glasses of special beverage that Allah promised in the heaven, I was throwing my hands and legs in all directions. Later, the host who arranged the party in his house confessed he had to move some of his collection of rare artifacts that were dangerously close to my feet. I barely missed them. I really did not intend to dance that night but it was the provocative song that no one could resist. You should listen to this song as soon as possible and then you would realize what I am talking about. Here’s a part of the lyrics of the song (Mambo number 5!, Artist-Lou Bega): 

“Jump up and down go and move it all around
Shake your head to the sound
Put your hands on the ground
Take one step left and one step right
One to the front and one to the side…..” 

So far so good, I was doing fairly well up to this point without breaking any valuable items. My other friends were also dancing in an articulate fashion along with their wives. However, my mind took an abrupt turn with the next part of the song.  

“A little bit of Monica in my life
a little bit of Erica by my side
a little bit of Rita is all I need
a little bit of Tina is what I see ……” 

By all means, I am not a playboy and I should not have dared to be one when my wife was dancing with me. There was a likelihood of my manhood being chopped. Amid the clamor of music, my imagination took a defiant flight thinking of Mohammed, the guardian of Islam, singing the song somewhat differently. 

“A little bit of Khadija in my life

a little bit of Zainab by my side
a little bit of Safyia is all I need
a little bit of Moyomuna is what I see
a little bit of Sawda in the sun
a little bit of Hafsah all night long
a little bit of Ayesha here I am
a little bit of you makes me your man.” 

It’s a fact that Mohammed had almost two dozen wives and a few concubines as a bonus. His number of wives varies from 11 to 23, depending on different Islamic scriptures. There is no record of Mohammed dancing with his wives but who knows what he did in his barrack. After all, he was a cunning politician and politicians have the record of doing things privately that is opposite to what they preach.  

I admit it was a fantasy; Mohammed could not have danced or sung any song. “Be merry” is a forbidden word in Islam. Quite the opposite, Muslims are designed to “Be gloomy” because of the scare of hell, the scare of Allah’s fire and the scare of the judgment day. Muslims are not permitted to dance, sing or draw a picture of any living things. Ironically, Muslims love ‘Bollywood’ movies that are full of dancing, and the Middle East is a hot market for these Indian movies. India has a beautiful cultural heritage, full of dance and music, which melodiously shifted into the movies. It’s true, some of the movies go overboard with dancing, and there are more dances than dialogue. Nonetheless, Sheikhs and pious Muslims watch these movies with their glittery eyes but restrain themselves from dancing. 

The recent best selling thriller The Da Vinci Code, written by Dan Brown, has sold over 40 million copies worldwide and has created uproar in the churches. According to the author, Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had children. It may not have caused the commotion if the theory was limited to fiction. Apparently, the idea of Jesus being married has been floating around for a while despite churches’ objection and calling it blasphemous. (And, of course, no church was burnt and no author was killed.) Anyway, Dan Brown was accused and later sued for plagiarizing the thought from another research book, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. Brown even acknowledged the accusation and boldly commented, “That’s how you incorporate research into a novel.” 

It does not matter whether Jesus was married or not. I would not lose sleep over the issue. The Bible, the holy book of the Christians, showed no interest regarding Jesus’s marital status, but the Quran gave Mohammed a blanket permission to marry as many as he wanted, along with the authorization of accepting the concubines at a discounted price. I am not arguing over their holy books, which is a completely separate issue, but what really intrigues me is the mindset of two groups of people. Christians love Jesus as much as Muslims adore Mohammed, yet Christians are embarrassed to think that Jesus had one, and only one, wife, whereas eclipsed minds of the Muslims cannot see the ugliness of a person sleeping with 23 women.  

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