Allah is an Idiot, Part 2: Be Careful What You Curse For...

 Jassassah
2006/03/01

Following on from my last article, here again, we see Allah not in control of his good senses. Apparently, there are certain times when your prayers are answered by Allah willy-nilly! But be careful what you curse for...  

Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah said, "Do not invoke curses on yourself or on your children or on your possessions lest you should happen to do it at a moment when the supplications are accepted, and your prayer might be granted." [Muslim. Hadith No. 1497 in Riyad us-Saliheen]  

So, next time your daughter comes home late, make sure you don't call her a "Silly bitch!" or you may end up with a funny looking dog by your feet (If it turns out black, you may have to kill it.) Likewise, if you are angry at the damn car that won't start in the morning to get you to the mosque, be careful not to kick it and call it a "whore"; you wouldn't want the neighbors seeing you standing on the street early in the morning with a damsel of the night!  

So we see that Allah is quite stupid when it comes to answering people. He'll give you something bad even when you don't mean it, and all those scullions of times when you ask him for good, well, maybe you'll get it in the next life ey? And as we saw in the previous article, he might give you too much of what you ask for till it starts being a right pain in the ass!  

But fret not dear brothers! You can use Allah's random happy minute for the benefit of the Ummah:  

For those of you who are really dedicated, see if you can stay awake for a full 24 hours and swear: " America is a pig! America is a pig" constantly. One of those prayers are sure to reach Allah during one of his generous moments and before you know it, there'll be a massive pink porker right in between Canada and Mexico!

The Jassassah

28 March, 2006.