Jen
Hi,
Is this Ali Sina?
Let me just say, what a wonderful site your “rational
thinking” site is. What a shock, and strangely enough almost a
comfort, let me explain.
Recently I was in a relationship with a
Saudi. I really loved him. He was so sweet and kind. But
there was always something about his religion that drove me nuts.
I happened to say something about Muhammad in a discussion we were
having one time and he told me “not to cross that line.” I was
raised catholic but am an agnostic so it was almost easier for me to see
his side than for him to see mine. (Which may have something to do with
him being 1 a man, and 2 an arab, excuse me if that is offensive, i am
having a really hard time seeing the differences between arab and muslim)
Anyway, recently he attained a scholarship (with the help of his mother
not his brain) from the saudi gov. immediatly after this he told me that
his mother wanted him to come home and get married. He never told his
mother about me. Breaking up was the hardest thing I ever had to
do. It’s still hard to get over, but I left for this reason, he
told me that the most important thing in his life is his country, then
god, then his family. I told him that he was insane. My friend
said it was brainwash.
Since the break up I’ve been looking for reasons
to believe that it was a far far better thing to be without him rather
than with, your site has helped a lot, Amensty International has been a
big help too. if you have time could you possibly clear up the
difference between Muslim and Arab. And why do Muslims treat women like
they do? Big questions I know.
How do you feel about the way Muslims feel about
Isreal? My boyfriend used to say he would never trust a Jew, it really
bothered me.
Thank You so much for providing this site. If you
are too busy to respond I understand.
If there is a God, I hope he is taking care of you
:)
jen
Dear Jen,
Consider splitting from your Saudi Boyfriend as wining a lottery. And
you are right; Islam is the Arab Instrument of domination. Saudi Arabs
are racists and haughty people. Theoretically all Muslims are equal. But
ask from any Muslim of other countries who has worked in SA and they
will tell you that Saudis do not view them as equal. This is of course
worse when you are not even a Muslim.
Many Western women fall in love with the Saudi men because they are
wealthy but marrying a Muslim is like playing a Russian roulette. If you
marry a man who is very religious you can be sure that you will have a
very unhappy life. This is generally true for Muslim men irrespective of
their nationality but Saudis are the worst.
You should not judge all men with an Arabic name the same way. Middle
Eastern men can be very affectionate and loving if they are not Muslims
or at least do not follow the teachings of Quran literally. Islam is a
misogynist religion and women are not valued much. Muhammad himself used
to think that women are deficient in intelligence and they constitute
the majority of the inhabitants of the hell. He thought that women will
be punished by Allah fo ever because they are not obedient to their
husbands who provides for them. He even instructed his followers to
scourge their wives if they are disobedient. Of course because according
to this holy messenger women are deficient in intelligence their
testimony in the court is worth half of that of a man and their
inheritance is also half of them. Muslim men have been brought up with
this kind of indoctrination for 1400 years and the change cannot come
overnight.
I wonder if you have read or seen the movie “Not Without My
Daughter” by Betty Mahmoudi. If you haven’t, you should before
dating another Muslim man. Last year I came to know an American lady in
one of the Yahoo Clubs. She was married to a Saudi pilot and had
converted to Islam. She was complaining that after 14 years, and three
children, and after sacrificing so much to save some money, his husband
now in his 40s has married a younger girl in his 20s. According to Islam
he can do that and he need not seek her first wife’s permission. She
could not leave SA because she needed her husband’s approval and he
would not let her go with the kids. Funny thing was that this poor woman
was still defending Islam without realizing that her wows were direct
consequence of the teachings of that religion.
I suggest write to few white women who have married with a Saudi
Muslim man for the last two decades and let them tell you how is their
lives. Of course many of them are so brainwashed that despite being
beaten occasionally and despite having to share their husband with one
or more other women and despite having lost all their liberties think
that this is normal. In fact since all American women who have married
to Muslim men share this miserable life, it is normal to them. But
certainly their happiness is thwarted when compared to the happiness of
a liberated woman in the West.
You can have a very happy life with a Middle Eastern man if he is no
more a Muslim or his faith is Islam is nominal. But if he is a fanatic
and loves Muhammad and constantly speaks about his religion, shun him as
if you shun disaster.
One thing that the Western girls do not understand is that though
Muslim men can be charming and are good expenders (if they come from oil
rich countries) they do not start the relationship with commitment. You
are for them just a pastime, a pretty toy to keep them company while
they are away from home. But when it comes to marriage, they think of
Muslim girls. Even if they sincerely like you, their families will not
allow them to marry you. They will arrange a marriage for them with
another Muslim girl from back home. But if he truly loves you and
marries you, you will still have a hellish life being accepted by his
bigot family. Then you have to be always ready share him with a younger
woman 15 or 20 years down the road, when you have lost you’re your
youthfulness and chances and you can do nothing about it.
Dear Jen, consider yourself lucky for not marrying that Saudi man and
warn your friends before they fall in love with a Muslim man. As for
your question why Muslims treat women they way they do, I recommend
reading the articles in the section dedicated to Women in this site.
I wish you the best of luck.
Regards,
Ali Sina
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