D.

22 May 2001

How I left Islam. 

It was very simple actually. The bottom line was that I recognized that this is my life and no one has the right to tell me what to do. I didn’t ask God for this life; so he has no rights on me, like to tell me to do this and that. That was the bottom line. I got angry in religion because of this, so I left it and also I thought, that Muslims think it is very important to be a Muslim, but they forget the fact that they are Muslims cause their parents are Muslims. While they talk as if they chose their religion before being born. Of course that’s not the case. We all are just born into whatever our parents are and that is not under our control. If you give this argument to a normal Muslim, they say that Islam is spread everywhere so whoever wants to convert, he can chose, “see the truth” and convert. But very few people convert. Conversion means leaving your family and things. So conversion is very difficult in most cases and rare. So whatever Religion you are born in, chances are that your going to stay in that religion. 

When I came to the US, I saw other nationalities with closeness; some nice Hindus, nice Goras, Christians, etc, etc. It’s not possible that these nice people can burn in Hell eternally forever. Princess Diana for example. It’s not possible for her to burn in fire forever and ever. Muslims don’t think about this. They take the burning in fire very lightly. One of the other reasoning I had is that burning in Hell forever is an infinite sin.

Now life is finite and a person can only commit a finite amount of sin; it is unfair to punish a finite amount of sin with an infinite amount of punishment. Doesn’t make sense! 

So that’s it, I guess. I thought the prophet lived his own life, so I’ll live my own. Islam tells me to do something. Well it can go to hell. It’s my life, I didn’t sign any contract with god to obey him, and neither did I ask him for my life. 

I am agnostic. If there is god, then he can only have one relation with me. He will accept my freedom etc. And another thing which u said in your site also; I also thought since god is all powerful, its not possible that we small humans can control the mood of God, by making him happy by prayer, or angry by evil deeds. If we could do that then it meant we have some control over god, which doesn’t make sense! cause god is supposed to be infinite if power. No one can affect him. 

Then I saw many losers in my university. Some prayed 5 times a day. I thought then, there is no connection between being a good person and being religious. Actually this was my starting point, when I started having second thoughts about religion. Before that I was about the most pious guy in my university. I had an ehrab (impression) on my forehead, and I considered myself as if I was closer to god than most guys, and I had solace in this thought, cause actually I was a loner, I didn’t have many friends, never could trust people that much, a victim of depression and low self-esteem etc (cause of childhood abuse). In those moments praying to God I would push me further away from humans and sort of bring me closer to god. I thought at least I know that he’ll like me if I did things that pleased him. At least someone to like me! (I thought). Many Muslims think when we read namaz, our duty is done. It’s all useless. Namaz sort of justifies the bad deeds of the people. It’s all so sickening. Reading the ayats now makes me sick, actually, and to think these Muslims are still thinking Islam is the only thing! Blind people! 

Another thing was that unequal rights of men and woman in Islam. Apply the same logic. It’s not under your control whether you are born a woman or a man. So women must have equal rights. But Islam says otherwise. It says 2 women equal 1 man in witness; and man are created one degree higher than women. B.S! 

In summary, just simply apply the logic that you keep the religion you are born in (in the BIG majority of cases). Since where you are born is not under your control, it means that religion doesn’t matter. Just like our color and race: it’s not in our control what race or color we are. What matters is the goodness in us, that’s all. So religion doesn’t matter think of all the people doing hajj and running between Safa and Marwa like crazy frightened chickens. What benefit they gaining in this world from doing this hajj, wasting so much money and time there? And performing the namaz ... what is the benefit of it? 

When I have seen total pathetic people saying namaz, then asked myself: where is the connection between being good and being religious? No connection! They are just blinds, following whatever they were told. 

I have a weird philosophy too. Islam could be the religion of devil. Just like it said on some site. Satan said he would mislead people and this is what’s happening with Muslims. It might be the only way to explain how Quran, this apparently complex book, was written. The ways used in Islam, to trap people into leading lives of losers are really so clever, that it might just not be possible for a normal human (Mohammad) to think up the ways; like a things said on this site  www.truthbeknown.com 

‘God has no Religion’

I am just afraid of fundamental Muslims cause they are ready to tear your throat if you say anything against Islam. So please make me anonymous. I am worried of the Muslim retaliation cause people might guess whom I am. I have told many people my ideas.

The other way to live our life (as people who left Islam) is, to not give a damn about anything and just be happy in our lives. Let the Muslims bigots do what they are doing, cause we are not responsible for them. But sometimes you wish you could stop them all and make the world religious-free. 

We are endangering our lives, if we have this aim! Would we be living happy lives, or would we live facing the death threats of Muslims, always feeling that the next person has a dagger in his hand to kill us! We would like peace; right? I guess so! Still, I don’t know, its so confusing. Wishing that religious wars would end. One thing is good. I think Afghanistan by tearing up those Buddha statues has done itself harm. In the future if it was in trouble, other countries would rather not help it, cause they know Afghanistan is a barbarian country. That could help in taking over Afghanistan, and it would be better.

I am still at this stage of life, where I don’t know if god exists or not. I also don’t know right now, what could be the source of constitution and laws for a society who does not believe in god? I guess the source could be common sense, but still one thinks it could be possible that the world would become wild and unjust? Don’t know in these uncertain thoughts, there is definitely one certain thought. Everyone can go hell and this is my life and I’ll do whatever I want to! This gives me some temporary relief :) 

Your link to skeptics on your site was very interesting (about the PhD professor who wrote about why bad beliefs don’t die). Sorry about this haphazard way of writing. It shows you my mind is insecure and not solid. That’s the way I am right now. Low self-esteem has totally crippled my life. Lets see what’s in store for me in future. Again, please keep me anonymous and as of yet, please don’t publish my story in the website :)

Cause I’m afraid, that’s all. I think this is the basic story and thoughts that made me go away from religion. Again, to stop all this worrying, we do have one option :) to just live our own lives and be free from the fear of Muslims. But then to think this Islam will keep on living, it would be horrible if everyone was Muslim and Islamic law was enforced in all countries. 

Anyways, take care and best of luck.

 Regards,

 D.