My Boyfriend Left Islam  

Dear Ali Sina,  

My name is Hanna and I am from Australia. I am dating a Muslim guy and a few months ago I brought up the question of marriage. He said that since I am a Buddhist he couldn’t marry me. I asked this question here:

Muslims replied that indeed Muslims could only marry Jews and Christians. They immediately decided to convert me and threatened me with Hell via private messages. Of course I was put off by this type of behaviour but still thought it would be right to learn more about Islam. After a week or so of studying I found your site. My boyfriend and I have been reading your site and he said he didn’t want to be a Muslim any longer. He now visits a shrink because he has lost his identity. But he is no longer in denial. He swore he would never even think of Islam. I want him to be a Buddhist (at least for some time so that it will be easier for him to overcome his fears).  

And we are getting married! Islam will not prevent us from being happy.  

Thank you so much! You saved my life and my dreams!  

P.S. He is going to mosque for the last time this Friday and he wants to put secretly some of your articles somewhere in the mosque. I know it is dangerous but we are already leaving Sidney so I hope Muslims won’t hurt us. He says there are many potential apostates in the mosque + he wants to free a few more people.  

Dear Ali, I know you are extremely busy but my boyfriend is so devastated.

He doesn't want to change his mind, not at all, but I think he needs your support. Can you just congratulate him? Please!!!!!  

Best wishes,

Hanna  

Dear Hanna,  

That is very good news and I thank you for sharing it with us. Your boyfriend is out of the woods finally and he will never go back to Islam. Right now he is going through the usual passage from faith to enlightenment. All of us apostates went through that. For some this passage takes longer than for others. It took me one year or so. Your boyfriend is much smarter than me. But he has you as the support which makes a lot of difference. Positive support is extremely important. I went through this dreadful passage all alone and it was hard.  

Fear is natural. After my enlightenment I was still caught in the claws of fear for another one year or may be more. What made me overcome my fear was the book "Twenty Three Years: A Study of the Prophetic Career of Mohammad" by Ali Dashti, given to me by an apostate friend. Knowledge, like light breaking through darkness is the best antidote to fear. I suggest you and your boyfriend keep reading the articles in this site. The more you equip yourselves with facts the easier you can fight back the fear. Although the shattering of lies can be traumatic, I don’t think shrinks are necessary. Just keep reading more. Truth is very powerful.  

The passage from faith to enlightenment consists of shock and denial tug of war to guilt, bewilderment, dismay, anger and finally enlightenment. Our best companion and support in this tortuous lonesome passage is knowledge. Knowledge is the torch of guidance that illumines our path and helps us take each step with certainty.  

As for going back to the mosque leaving anti Islam material and trying to help the Muslims that you know, I am not sure whether it is a good idea. I strongly discourage apostates to discuss their findings with believers. This battle must be fought only through the Internet. This is our turf. It does not matter if you don’t reach your friends, they will hear it sooner or later from someone else. Try to reach others. Go to Internet chat rooms and share your findings with other Muslims.  

Your boyfriend is right, many Muslims can be helped. As a matter of fact most of the Muslims are like your boyfriend. They are honest and good people. I personally don’t know many bad people. In real life the majority (if not all) the Muslims that I know are good people. Most of the truly bad people I met, I met them through my site. At times I can feel the sheer force of evil in what these people write. But these cyber Jihadis are exceptions. Most of the Muslims are just normal people caught in a wrong path. Of course they must learn the truth and leave Islam because they are the ones who provide moral support to the extremists. Once the mosques are deserted the evil Muslims won’t have an audience to spew their hatred.  

Tell your boyfriend to cheer up. He has had his rebirth. This is indeed a new dawn for him and a new beginning. Once he overcomes his fear, which will be a cinch if he reads the articles of this site, he will learn to smile at life and life will smile back at him. Great days are ahead of him. I wish you two will built your nest of happiness together, bring forth enlightened children and illumine all those who come in touch with you with love and understanding.   

My best wishes for both of you  

Ali Sina