A Place for Michael

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Ibn Kammuna

(author's note: names have been altered to protect identity)

“ I am sorry” the doctor said. “You can’t get pregnant on your own. You’ll need an En-Vitro procedure.” He continued. This happened quite a few years back. En-Vitro procedure had less than 30% chance of success with a high price tag. At the time, I had embarked on an ambitious project. I married a beautiful western girl and immigrated to the west. My academic degrees from back home did not amount to much, or so I felt. So, I decided to have a fresh start for my academic studies by getting an undergraduate degree from a western university, then pursue graduate studies. My wife could not get pregnant, and so, we pursued some medical tests for her and me.  The fact that my wife could not get pregnant did not bother me much. It was a different story to my poor wife. It was devastating for her not to be able to get pregnant. Medical procedures were not an option at the time given the high price tag, combined with about 30% low success rate. We decided against it. That was many years ago. After I finished my education goals in the west, our life became more stable. I had a secure job with reasonable income coming in. Even though we were not getting any younger, My wife still longed for having some children. We felt that investigating adoption opportunities is a realistic one. Many couples go to countries like Russia, China,..etc to adopt a child. We felt that the local need is just as promising. We went to the department of social services (DSS) to investigate fostering and adoption opportunities. Chances looked good, but at the same time, to get licensed as a foster/adoptive parents, a couple has to do many things: there are classes to go to. There are complete medical exams to be done. The fire marshal has to come to your home to make sure it is a safe house, police reports have to be obtained to make sure you are not a danger to children if they are placed under you care. The sum of it there were many time-consuming efforts one has to do to become licensed as a foster/adoptive parent. While demanding, such requirements are necessary to place the child in a safe environment. My wife and I went to special classes and did all the requirements necessary to be licensed as foster/adoptive parents. It took us about eight months to get there, but finally we got licensed. The way it works is that when DSS takes a child out of a home, that child is in a lot of danger if left in his environment. This is why he/she is taken out and placed in a foster/adoptive home until DSS and the judicial system decide on the matter. That child may or may not come up for adoption. It all depends on the circumstances. It did not take long, but one day DSS called and asked my wife to go to the local hospital. There, a social worker brought her a two-day old child, Kandy, to take home and care for her until the judicial system decides on the matter. Amanda, my wife, was thrilled to have a newly born child in our care. Its been almost four years since that day. Kandy now carries my family name for her last name. We ended up adopting her when she was eighteen months old. One morning, DSS called again to place a two-year old child with us. Her name is Amber.  She was a lively child, but with no structured way of life. She has been in a home where all they ate is junk food. She did not have any schedules of eating or sleeping. We had to work on forcing some structure in her life. Amber was also tested by professionals on a battery of tests. She was found behind her age-normal development on seven out of eight developmental areas. We had to take her for therapy, and try to design activities to help her. We also ended up adopting that lovely child. She is going to school this coming year. When we took her to register her in school, they had to test her on a battery of tests geared toward understanding her cognitive and social skills and development. Well, and this brings tears to my eyes, Amber scored above average on most of the tests they did – cognitive and social and emotional. Children are resilient. All they need is some structure and love and they will thrive. My wife and I felt that our family is now complete. I have a steady and secure job. We have two lovely children. Our lives were full and busy with family and friends. We decided to let our adoption license expire. Then one day, the DSS foster and adoption supervisor called my wife Amanda. She visited with her a while, then, out of the blue asked her if she wanted another baby boy. We had a two-bedroom house. I literally had to watch my steps in the house to avoid stepping on the girls toys. The house was cramped. We couldn’t even have any visitor stay overnight in our home. It was just a small home. We really did not want another child. But my wife asked the supervisor who that child is. As it turned out, he was a half brother to one of the girls we adopted. The decision was made in my wife’s mind. We can’t say no to a child who is a brother to our little girl. So, when I went home from work that day, I had a new surprise waiting for me.  I just did not know how we’ll make it in such a little house. Michael, the little new baby, was also two days old when he came to us. He is almost one  year old now. One of the blessings of a bad housing market is that one can buy a much larger home with relatively low-cost. This is what we did recently. We moved to a new house where all of our children have their own rooms.  Overall, we are blessed, and the bad economy turned out to be a blessing in disguise for us. We have a home that accommodates all of us nicely. I am glad my wife took Michael in. he turned out to be a charming and very observant child. There is always a place for another soul to love in our lives.