Dr. Zakir Naik – an interview with UBC*

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Dr. Zakir Naik – an interview with UBC (Or Muhammad was the first astronaut to Walk on the Moon)

Sanjay Khanna

The following are excerpts from a UBC channel interview with Dr. Zakir Naik:

UBC – We have with us in our studios tonight, world renowned Islamic scholar and preacher Dr. Zakir Naik…thank you Dr. Naik for sparing the time to be with us.

Dr. Naik - It’s by Allah’s (swt) grace that I am here with you. I greet you with the Islamic greetings, assalaamu alaykum. May the love and peace of Allah (swt) be with all of you.

UBC – Dr. Naik, you have been accused of preaching hatred against other communities and attacking other religions. What do you have to say about that?

Dr. Naik – This is a false accusation made by people who are jealous of my popularity. I never attack any religion. I only point out the fallacies in other religions and bring out the similarities in Islam and other faiths.

UBC – Why do you need to do that? Do others compare Islam with their religion?

Dr.Naik – There is no comparison at all.

UBC – Ohh…So you do admit that other religions are better than Islam?

Dr. Naik – I meant that Islam is the only true religion in the world and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is the last and final messenger.. All other religions are false.

UBC – In that case, shouldn’t you be preaching Islam instead of comparing it with other faiths? You seem to be finding more faults with other religions than anything good in your own. A careful analysis of your speech reveals that you spend five percent of the time on Islam and the other 95 percent condemning other faiths. Tell me Dr. Naik, doesn’t your glorious Koran have enough substance in it to keep you before the microphone for just fifteen minutes?

Dr. Naik - Who says so? I do preach the Koran but at the same time I try to find similarities with other faiths too.

UBC – Accepted. Do you believe Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) went on a moonwalk 1400 years ago?

Dr. Naik – Of course, nothing in the Koran can be false. The beloved prophet of Allah did go to the moon.

UBC - In that case why haven’t you laid claim to it in the scientific world? Everyone believes Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldridge to be the first men on the moon. Isn’t that wrong?

Dr. Naik – I agree with you brother, but the western world won’t accept it. They are biased against Muslims.

UBC – Ok Dr. Naik, we all know today that there is no gravity on the moon. Can you tell us what kind of spacesuit prophet Muhammad (pbuh) wore for this startrek adventure?

Dr. Naik - Well, he was a prophet and Allah invited him to heaven.

UBC – for dinner or for a sneak preview of the virgins?

Dr. Naik – (laughs) No brother, what I mean is that when Allah himself invites you, you don’t need a spacesuit.

UBC – What about the problem with gravity? Did Allah (swt) take care of that too?

Dr. Naik – Well brother, the prophet went to heaven on a winged horse that had magnetic horseshoes on its feet. Those magnets stuck to the surface of the moon, so Muhammad (pbuh) didn’t fly around like those crazy Americans. It’s only now that we know that there are metal and mineral deposits on the surface of the moon.

UBC – God…that’s a revelation. Thank you for throwing some light on it. I’m sure the west will take notice of this ancient discovery in the holy Koran.

Dr. Naik – I have always maintained that the glorious Koran is based on scientific facts, for the simple reason that it wasn’t written by man, but handed down to the holy messenger by Allah (swt).

UBC – It’s very cold on the moon. I wonder how he managed…

Dr. Naik – Well he had a good relation with his horse, and used it to keep himself warm.

UBC – What...? Are you trying to suggest that he had sex with his horse to keep himself warm?

Dr. Naik – Hell no brother, the warmth of the horse’s body kept him warm.

UBC – Can you now throw some light on Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) splitting the moon too?

Dr. Naik - Well he did that on a full moon night because his followers demanded a miracle.

UBC – Do you believe he really managed that?

Dr. Naik – Of course, you even have proof of it today.. Why do you think we have half moon and quarter moon? It’s to remind mankind of the prophets great miracle.

UBC – Why do you insist women wear the hijab?

Dr. Naik – I have said on many occasions that hijab protects women from a man’s gaze. Sharia lays down laws for both men and women. Under sharia which is Allah‘s (swt) own law, a man should lower his gaze and look down when he sees a woman and has a desire for her.

UBC – look down Dr. Naik? (laughs)

Dr. Naik – I meant look at the ground.

UBC – Isn’t it ironic then, that women in Islamic countries are treated no better than a production line, besides being physically abused?

Dr. Naik – What about the west?

UBC – I’m not talking of crime. That happens everywhere and is punishable under law. The crimes against women in Islamic countries like murder, honor killing, gang rape etc are legally sanctioned by the sharia. The culprits invariably find a way of slipping through the law using flimsy excuses such as, “a rape victim was not properly dressed”

Dr. Naik – I have discussed this issue at length in my lecture which is available in a video cassette.

UBC – Is that all you have to say in reply to my question Dr. Naik? Very well then, you have commented on Sania Mirza’s* tennis outfit. Can we have your views on that please?

Dr. Naik – Well, personally I feel Sania Mirza* should wear longer skirts.

UBC – Wouldn’t that affect her game?

Dr. Naik – A little… maybe 5 – 10 percent. But by pleasing Allah (swt), he will help her ten fold.

UBC – So Allah (swt) plays tennis too?

Dr. Naik – Everything in this world is because of Allah. If Allah (swt) knows everything, what is tennis for him?

UBC – Why then didn’t Allah (swt) teach Muhammad (pbuh) to play tennis?

Dr. Naik – Why do you western journalists assume anything without verifying? Tennis racquets made of palm leaves found in Medina conclusively prove that the prophet played tennis. In fact he liked everything that has something to do with a ball.

UBC – Does the Koran throw some light on his game?

Dr. Naik - Well, he played men’s doubles and mixed doubles. Playing singles is haraam. Some of his favorite strokes were the lob, drive, dipper, drop shot and half volley.

UBC – Yes, I can understand why he liked the half volley. I have the definition here - hit just as the ball is coming up from its bounce, usually with a short forward swing that produces natural backspin because the ball brushes up on the string bed.

To be continued…

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Note - * Sania Mirza is a great achiever, and the reference to her is simply to highlight the plight of millions of Muslim women who are innocent victims of their barbaric faith. Readers are not at liberty to interpret this reference to Sania in any other manner other than what is intended by the author and made expressly clear in this footnote.

* this article is a satire and UBC is a fictitious name.